Baby Tips for Dads by Simon Brett

By Simon Brett

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36 Daddy Do’s and Don’ts 37 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following (you’ll regret it if you do): The baby’s going to have to fit into our routine. 38 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: I will never allow any baby of mine to... (Fill in the blank. ) 39 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: The baby’s never been carsick. 40 41 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: We’ve been very lucky with the baby sleeping through the night.

38 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: I will never allow any baby of mine to... (Fill in the blank. ) 39 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: The baby’s never been carsick. 40 41 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: We’ve been very lucky with the baby sleeping through the night. 42 43 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: We’re certainly not going to let having a baby affect our sex life. 44 45 Under no circumstances be heard to say any of the following: I don’t know why people make such a big deal about having a baby.

Then you will understand that: The sole purpose of your eyes is to have fingers poked into them. 47 Try to see things from your baby’s point of view. Then you will understand that: The sole purpose of your hair is to have babyfood mashed into it. 48 49 Try to see things from your baby’s point of view. Then you will understand that: The sole purpose of your clothes is to be puked over. 50 51 Your baby regards it as a solemn duty to stop you from doing any of the following: Forgetting for a moment that you have a baby.

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